February 27, 2007
Out of My Boat
I am scared when it comes to leading devotions, even in front of close friends. All of a sudden, my words get stuck, and I forget what I was going to say. Even when I know that no one will look down on me for what I say.
Last week at Living Worship practice, I lead devotions and I was really nervous. The worst part is praying. I wish I was like others in the group who have no problem praying . . . on the spot even. It reminds me of Paul in 1 Corinthians,
And I, brethren, when I came to you, did not come with excellence of speech or of wisdom declaring to you the testimony of God. For I determined not to know anything amony you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified. I was with you in weakness, in fear, and in much trembling."
That's how I feal. Totally inadequate.
Casting Crowns has an awesome song that I love to listen to over and over. And ask God for the strength to lean on Him and to jump out of my boat . . . my boat of fear.
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith to climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand
But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again, "Boy, you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen to the voice of truth
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand
But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again, "Boy, you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"
But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From the top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
This is my prayer.
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6 comments:
Wow! I appreciate your honesty and openess Carol-lee! I know the feeling! Good words to hear though...
AMEN
I know the feeling too, comforting to know I'm not the only one afraid of praying in public, thanks for the reminder of the strength we recieve from Christ!
I know exactly how you feel . . . something I've been struggling with all my life, and especially now as I lead a community group of fifteen, all of which are older than me by probably at least 5 years. God has been really showing me that my lifesong is played for the audience of ONE ALONE! That's all that really matters. My boast is in Him only.
Thanks for the post, Carol-Lee! That song has been a blessing for me too.
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord . . ." 2 Tim.1:7-8a
I wish i was like you, a little more scared to approach the throne of God publicly. I think a good amount of fear is good. Sometimes i find that my words in prayer lose meaning, kinda like "babbling like the pagans". But like it says in the text you mentioned, we should strive to know nothing but Christ and Him crucified, even in our prayers. Last week i prayed with a friend, and I realized that I seriously had to rethink my prayer life. I was too structured, too worried about "what God would think if I said that" but I'm learning. I'll pray for you, for boldness and the words to say.
Thanks for all the encouragement and prayers everyone!
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