an applicable song.

You are the author of knowledge
You can redeem what's being done
You hold the present and all that's to come
Until Your everlasting kindgom

Lord I don't know where all this is going
Or how it all works out
Lead me to peace that is past understanding
A peace beyond all doubt

You are the God of tomorrow
Turning the darkness to dawn
Lifting the hopeless with hope to go on
You are the author of salvation

Lord I don't know where all this is going
Or how it all works out
Lead me to peace that is past understanding
A peace beyond all doubt

Oh Lord you are the author
Redeeming what's been done
You hold us in the present
And all that is to come


Lord we don't know where all this is going
Or how it all works out
Lead us to peace that past understanding
A peace beyond all doubt

Newsboys - Lord

more on friendships.

So, I had a little memory-trigger after I talked to some of my friends today. Yay for gchat:) Here's what I remembered.

You know those wonderful old kid tapes you used to listen to 10 times a day, with songs like Behold What Manner of Love, This Little Light of Mine, and other songs based on Bible passages? Well, I remembered one of those songs today. It goes like this:

Make new friends

But keep the old

One is silver

And the other gold

I'm thinking that this has some sort of significance in how we treat this whole problem of new and old friends, more important and those that are beginning to fall by the wayside. Read it one more time.

Make new friends

But keep the old

One is silver

And the other GOLD

Meditate on those words for a minute.

Here is what I'm thinking. New friends are great. A blessing from our heavenly Father for sure. But old ones are just as important. Don't let new friends distract you from the old ones. Also, talk with your old friends about it, if that is possible or applicable. Open up this issue. If you're having a hard time figuring out where you stand and what's going on and how you feel about your friendship fading. If you can't let go of those friendships, talk to them about it if you can and see how they feel. Chances are they feel the same as you, but are afraid to bring it up. Are they ready to move on? Then it's okay. So can you. Do they still want to be close friends like you used to be? Pursue that.

I tried that. And with God's help, I plan on doing the latter. Keeping in mind one word:

priorities.

Just because I see certain friends more than others, I shouldn't let that get in the way of friendships that are harder to pursue on a regular basis. I'm scared that I will fail again though.

That's all for now. Except for one question: does anyone know of a Bible passage that may have inspired this song???

blessed.

Anton and I have been going out for six months now. I can't believe it.

I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine making request for you [all] with joy. Phil 1:3-4

sweet passage.

For You will light my lamp;

the Lord my God will enlighten my darkness.

For by You I can run against a troop,

by my God I can leap over a wall.

Psalm 18:28-29

Every New Day (FIF)

When I was young, the smallest trick of light,
Could catch my eye,
Then life was new and every new day,
I thought that I could fly.
I believed in what I hoped for,
And I hoped for things unseen,
I had wings and dreams could soar,
I just don't feel like flying anymore.
When the stars threw down their spears,
Watered Heaven with their tears,
Before words were spoken,
Before eternity.

Dear Father, I need you,
Your strength my heart to mend.
I want to fly higher,
Every new day again.

When I was small, the furthest I could reach,
Was not so high,
Then I thought the world was so much smaller,
Feeling that I could fly.
Through distant deeps and skies,
Behind infinity,
Below the face of Heaven,
He stoops to create me.

Dear Father, I need you,
Your strength my heart to mend.
I want to fly higher,
Every new day again.

Man versus himself.
Man versus machine.
Man versus the world.
Mankind versus me.
The struggles go on,
The wisdom I lack,
The burdens keep pilling
Up on my back.
So hard to breathe,
To take the next step.
The mountain is high,
I wait in the depths.
Yearning for grace,
And hoping for peace.

Dear God...
Increase.

Healing hands of God have mercy on our unclean souls once again.
Jesus Christ, light of the world burning bright within our hearts forever.
Freedom means love without condition,
without a beginning or an end.
Here's my heart, let it be forever Your's,
Only You can make every new day seem so new.

Hallelujah.

thinking on it.

And the God of peace will crush Satan under your feet shortly. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you. Amen. Romans 16:20


My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. 1 John 3:18

friendships.

Life can be so confusing sometimes. Confusing in a weird and discomforting sort of way.

Like relationships/friendships. These confuse me a lot sometimes. And make me feel uncomfortable. Sometimes guilty. And make me wonder how they really work. Be curious about whether other people have the same things happening in their lives as me. Strangely distanced friendships.

There are the friends you used to be really close with and share tons with, and see lots, and you have billion of amazing memories, as well as hurtful and growing memories. And then somehow those relationships faded in a short summer and are only somewhat there. You see them and you have great times. But the closeness is gone. You feel a sort of distance between you.

Then there are the friendships that, no matter how long you don't talk or email or keep in contact with, you can just bounce back to where you left off and keep going. Sharing. Confiding in. Nothing will change those friendships. I am so thankful for these.

And then there are the friends that you are closest with now. Who you talk to a lot, share with, miss even if you don't see them for just a short week, go to parties with. The ones that you would label as your "best friends". The ones you share almost everything with.

And of those "categories", there are the ones that you can talk about God with. And the ones that are only fun and laughter and to talk about God would be awkward. And yet both sides are Christians. This always confuses me.

I can easily say with all my heart that I love all of my former and present, "close" and "distant" friends. I do. But it's not the same.


Life changes when you get older. I am reminded of that again and again. As I spend more time on this earth. This year has been a huge flip for me. A strange, yet good, experience. Different "close" friends, a boyfriend, keeping up with two families, keeping up with a growing and vast number of friends/acquaintances.


I experienced it all over again this weekend. Seeing friends I haven't seen in a while and hanging out with them. It's hard to balance. To think about. To keep hanging onto so many special and wonderful people.

Why do friendships have to fade like that? Why does keeping up with so many people have to be so hard? How can you keep friendships that once meant so much to you and hold onto them forever? Why do friendship mysteriously fade? And mysteriously grow and become more important than others? Do you experience this same thing?



"Friends are friends forever, if the Lord's the Lord of them."


True. But hard. And the only way that this is true is because of the Lord's help.





It's hard. I don't know if I like it.

breath taking.

Story: After a 5 minute visit to Cambridge half an hour ago to do some photocopying, I looked in the rearview mirror...

...and saw this:

I quickly dumped my bag on Amy's lap and told her to get the camera out and take pictures! She did...all the way home. (The first picture is compliments of Amy.)

Then when we got to our driveway, we hopped out of the car, I grabbed the camera, turned the flash off and took a bunch more. These are some of them.

Moral of the story: It's a good idea to look in your rearview mirror when you're driving. If you don't, you might miss it ("it" shall be left for you to discover).

sports?

How is it that people think they can make me play sports?




Man. I'm a push-over. I give in too easily.

And people know how to make me feel guilty...


Has someone failed to inform them that I am a musician, not an athlete? My limbs are very important. And not to be stressed or hurt by athletic taxation!

last of kiwanis.

The masterclass was amazing. I have some work to do:)


And I got first place for sight-reading.




I had fun, and learned a lot, but...I'm glad it's over too.

masterclass.

The adjudactor of the senior piano classes selects 8 people every year to have a masterclass with him - which includes a 15 minute lesson with him and watching him give the other 7 short lessons as well.


I was one of them!! Pretty stoked about that.

It's today.

done.

I just finished that crazy big project.

Now I can finally get back to studying that History.





And register for four exams....ahhh!!

Somehow actually registering for them makes is so much more real and scary and stressful.

important to remember I think.

read todays 'verse of the day'. I think it means a lot. Think about it.

He who covers an offense promotes love, but he who repeats the matter separates close friends.
proverbs 17:9

day two.

I received second for my Mozart Sonata in A major. Quite happy with that.


And we witnessed quite the show from one of my competitors...crazy performance! Literally, a performance, not just a competition. I think he thought he was performing in front of a huge crowd.

"check this out" he says.

I've been listening to Mark Mathis for a while now. I like his music. Thanks Anton:)

You should check out http://www.myspace.com/markmathis. Listen to his songs.


And especially his new song, Christian Schools. Also, click on the link for his blog and read the post on that song. He was homeschooled!! (Sorry, I just thought that was cool because so was I. And I also only went to school for the same grades as he did. Just thought that was cool!)

kiwanis.

day one:

first place for my prelude and fugue:)



woot!!!

nice thought.

I wouldn't even be mad if anyone decided they would share some new music with me:)

Please?

my earthly dwelling place most of the time.

THIS is where I sit every day...except on weekends...and study. Things that you will always see on my desk: a glass of water, a bountiful supply of pens and pencils, a Bible, a stack of paper to write quick notes on, a laptop and printer, books and papers either neatly piled up or strewn across the desk, and candles.












Here is the stack of books that my teacher gave me last week to thoroughly analyze. I don't think I knew what it meant to thoroughly analyze a music book until now. These are not just books. They are music books for beginning music students.

Alfred, Bastien, Boris Berlin, Hal Leonard, Celebrate Piano.



I am a third of the way done, five hours later.

new look.

again.

I got bored with the old one:)




Happy Valentine's Day...

the love of a little boy...

...for his family.

evidence of which we did partake this evening for Valentine's Day - a beautiful heart shaped chocolate cake, which was schemed up and eagerly anticipated for months.

we could 'taste' the love:)

we love you too Aaron.

cringe.

our piano is really out of tune!

i hope it actually stays in tune this time.

because it's really frustrating when it doesn't.

what if you should say you don't want me in your life?

dedicated to all my dear friends: I love you.

What if there was no lie
Nothing wrong, nothing right
What if there was no time
And no reason, or rhyme
What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side
That you don't want me there in your life
What if I got it wrong
And no poem or song
Could put right what I got wrong
Or make you feel I belong

What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side
That you don't want me there in your life

Ooh ooh-ooh, that's right
Let's take a breath, jump over the side
Ooh ooh-ooh, that's right
How can you know it, if you don't even try
Ooh ooh-ooh, that's right

Every step that you take
Could be your biggest mistake
It could bend or it could break
That's the risk that you take

What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side
That you don't want me there in your life

Ooh ooh-ooh, that's right
Let's take a breath, jump over the side
Ooh ooh-ooh, that's right
How can you know when you don't even try
Ooh ooh-ooh, that's right

Ohhh - Ooh ooh-ooh, that's right,
Let's take a breath, jump over the side.
Ooh ooh-ooh, that's right,
You know that darkness always turns into light.
Ooh-ooh, that's right
What If by Coldplay

Psalm 55

Micah 7:5-7

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

I hope you will remain my friend for a long time. That I won't hurt you. Or you hurt me. That Christ will help us be loyal friends to each other.

hoky dina.

I'm a little freaked out....and feel kinda old.

wow.

update.

they're getting better slowly:D


~ ~ ~ ~

notice the new 'verse of the day' feature!!

Clive "Jack" Staples Lewis

C. S. Lewis is probably ranks up there as one of the most popular, and well loved, Christian authors. I think my favorite of his writings are The Chronicles of Narnia, especially The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe.

-

-

-

- - - - - - -

-

-

-

-

-

-

So, my brother has been listening to the Focus on the Family Radio production of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobw over the past few days...right outside my bedroom door. Which makes it very easy for me to multi-task: listen and study at the same time:) I think every time I hear this story, I see more and more of the imagery Lewis used of the story of Christ.


Last night we watched the movie (the "new" one). I think the part that affected me the most this time was when the witch and her evil army meet Aslan at the stone table and mock him, beat him, shave him, tie him up, dance in victory over his scared body, and kill him. If that is anything at all like what it was really like when Jesus was tormented and humiliated by His enemies, that whole section of the Bible makes a lot more sense, and a lot more sorrow, to me than it used to.

I also used to think that Lucy and Susan where the disciples that Jesus took with Him when He went to the Mount of Olives to pray. But I don't think so anymore. I think that they represent the women who were always present, following Jesus, through His death, burial, resurrection. They were always there, weaping and watching. Just like Lucy and Susan. (Read Matthew 27:55-56, 61, 28:1-10.)

It's cool how the stone table is broken, like the curtain in the temple. They both showed the fulfillment of something.

I could go on and on, but...you should read/watch/listen to it again yourself soon. And read the whole story of Jesus humilitation, death, burial, and resurrection along with it. Read and ponder.

psalm 34 verse 8.

oh, taste and see that the Lord is good.

in awe...

I don't know what's going on, but God is doing whatever it is, that's for sure.


It's amazing when you can actually see that He's working and showering His grace all over.

painfully aware of human weakness.

Yes I'm encouraged.



But that does not mean I don't have a source of bitterness as well. This is mine. The sight of a tensor bandage reminds me that I can be spiritually well and physically not at the same time. Happy and sad. Full of joy and full of annoyance. On a high. And a low.

My arms are causing me trouble again. Which basically affects everything I do. Writing, typing, playing piano, playing violin. It's just frustrating that the most important part of my body right now is the least healthy. The part that looks at this picture and says, 'you're my best friend.' My arm. And Guelph Kiwanis is in a week and a half. At which I compete and perform three times.

Arms, get better!

encouraged.

This past weekend we had youth group on Saturday night, and then we had lunch and another Bible study on Sunday.

We addressed UNITY in our group.


And tried a new idea for Bible studies. Instead of using study material, we each read a passage (Romans 14) alone for 20 minutes and then got together in small groups to discuss what we found and read and thought about it.



I'm strongly encouraged by the results so far. And the enthusiastic feedback from people on how much they liked it.

Youth group was actually encouraging to me this weekend. That's amazing!

post on love.

as I said before, I have been learning a ton about love in the past few months. hopefully this summary makes sense. It is only a small taste of what I have been learning and am being tested on.

based on I Corinthians 13:4-8a



Love is patient. bearing or enduring provoking or annoyance, puts up with things that you don't like in a person.

Love is kind. thoughtful, always puts others before themselves, caring, there when others need a friend or a chat.

Love...does not envy. does not expressly show that they are jealous of someone else, is content with what God has given them.

Love...does not boast. does not parade around and talk about themselves all the time.

Love...is not proud. same as boasting, not full of yourself, but humble in Christ. I think humility and love are very similar, and closely connected.

Love...is not rude. puts others first, thinks about how actions/thoughts/words will affect those around them.

Love...is not self-seeking. forgets about themselves and what they deeply desire and serves others unconditionally.

Love...is not easily angered. even when jealous, or bitter towards someone, you don't show your anger, you keep it inside. Which explains where it says that we should be angry and not sin (Eph 4:26).

Love...keeps no record of wrongs. does not let someone else's rude actions towards them keep them from returning love to that person, but forgives no matter what.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. does not support lies in anyway, but does everything possible to promote truth and destroy evil.

Love...always protects. cares for, treasures, cherishes.

Love...always trusts. believes, relies on, and depends on God, and relays that to those who need to be uplifted in that.

Love...always hopes. has faith in God's plan, encourages when the road is rough.

Love...always perseveres. holds on to the Word and the promises of God, keeps pressing forward.

Love never fails. is everlasting, never ending, contiuous, always pulls through, always present.

Christ in me is love. Christ in you is love. Christ IS love!



No matter what (in other words, no matter who/when/where/why/in whatever situation) it is . . .

LOVE.

That can never be emphasized enough.

for tomorrow.

happy birthday my dear Justine.

I love you. in many ways.

'happy sigh'

Wow.


I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOO glad to be back. I just checked out the blogs I have on my blog roll and I've missed you all soo much!! Well, I've seen all of you, but I haven't been on your blogs in a while, and I missed that part of you all.

I have nothing extra-ordinary to say yet. I have to get into the whole blogger mode again. One thing I'll say is this:

God's been teaching me about TRUE love.

fast over.

After almost one whole month, I am finally back.

Fasting is good, even though it's [insert extreme word here] hard!



Okay, I need to catch up in the blogging world. I'm going to start by checking everyone else's blogs:)