challenges. encouragement.

. . . . . . .
i like it when friends challenge and encourage me to think more. to think deeper. to go deeper than the surface. the business of everyday life. to analyze things. to dig deep inside and search for things.

bad things.

good things.

hard things.

easy things.

confusing things.



what I really believe.

what my life looks like.

what it looks like in comparison to the Bible.

what it looks like with my family. with my friends.

with God.


because too often i find myself floating through life. not thinking about what is important. not comparing what i'm doing and living with what it truth. the Bible. and not living it for God. giving it to Him in prayer. everyday.

so to all the precious people in my life who do that - thank you.

and thank you God for the gift of those people.
. . . . . . .

christmas music.

if you haven't found Christmas music that you like yet...among all the so-called annoying music you hear on the radio and in the malls these days....

listen to Sufjan Steven's five Christmas Albums. you'll love them.


i think i like them because they don't always have perfect intonation. or perfect harmonies. they improvise. make up parts. they're just having fun singing and playing Christmas songs. they're sharing their joy of Christmas with the world. and don't care if it's not perfect.

and it's beautiful. easy to listen to. relaxing. in a Sufjan kind of way.



oh, i love Christmas music. gives me the fuzzy, warm feel of winter and Christmas time.

LW.

Living Worship is in TWO days!!!!!



YES! i'm totally pumped.

don't do this.

i hate it when i turn to people instead of God.

Christ in our place.

.

something that i have been reading a lot over the past few weeks, and been thinking about, is this passage. it never ceases to amaze me that this is true. and that God would do this for His enemies, sinners...us. you. me.

Romans 5:6-11
6 for when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.
7 for scarcely for a righteaous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die.
8 but God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
9 much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him.
10 for if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life.
11 and not only that, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation.

and as a result of this joy in being reconciled, we are to live for Him. give ourselves fully to God. our bodies. our thoughts. our hearts. our souls. every second. every action.

Romans 6:11-14
11 likewise you also, reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
12 therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts.
13 and do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.
14 for sin shall not have dominion over you, for you are not under the law but under grace.

.

confronted.

i've been confronted. confronted by God's Word.

our youth conference on Saturday went really well. our speaker was Rev. VanOlst from Rehoboth URC in Hamilton. his two talks were entitled "Called to Live the Christian Life" and "How to Life the Christian Life".

God showed me a lot of things. things that I still need to process. hard stuff. wonderful stuff. stuff to battle and wrestle with.

living the Christian life is a huge battle. against Satan. and i think sometimes, or more often than sometimes, i forget my first love (Rev.2).

if you love Me, keep My commandments.
and I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper,
that He may abide with you forever-
the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive,
because it neither sees Him nor knows Him;
but you know Him, for He dwells with you
and will be IN you.
I will not leave you orphans;
I will come to you.
John 14:15-18

wrapped up . . .

. . . in love.

but God demonstrates His own love toward us,

in that while we were still sinners,

Christ died for us.

romans 5:8

that's what I'm feeling right now. wrapped up in God's love.

God loves me. unconditionally. and sent His only Son to this earth. for me.

sometimes it is better to just dwell on the simplicity of God, and not try to figure Him out, or wonder if He's there. i know He's there. and that He loves me. because the Bible says He does. and if i'm not trying to reason it all out, i believe it with all my heart.

assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted

and become as little children,

you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven.

matthew 18:3

like i said. wrapped in God's love.

for i am persuaded that neither death nor life,

nor angels nor principalities nor powers,

not things present not things to come,

nor height nor depth,

nor any other created thing,

shall be able to separate us from the love of God

which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

romans 8:38-39

let it snow.

okay, i really don't like that song. playing it a million times every Christmas at the ballet studio has worn any of its goodness out of me. but it fits right now.

this morning i woke up to snow. and i was grumpy about it. i didn't want to have to go out in it. it looked cold and windy and miserable outside.

and then i went out in it. all afternoon. for music lessons.

and i decided that i was being ridiculous. kidding myself out of enjoying something so beautiful. so clean. so white. it made me think and feel these two things:

1. it made me think of how God washes us in Christ's blood. and makes us, as the metaphor goes, "white as snow".

2. its giving me the cozy feeling of a warm house, with a hot chocolate in your hand, and looking outside at the beauty of the ice cold snow covering the brownness of the earth. it's giving me the Christmas spirit. a month early:)

so let it snow. and snow. and snow.

again.

never under-estimate God. in any situation.

every time I do, He proves Himself yet again. and again.


i don't deserve it. but it brings me to my knees when He shows His power and love.

from my music history studying.

The practice of [music] is . . . a great part of my inner self. To me, it is the very air I breathe.
~ Clara Schumann

okay, so maybe not the air i breathe, but pretty close.

it's a huge-mungous part of my life anyway:)

wasteland. by mark mathis.

a song i've listened to a lot lately. and love it.


welcome to the wasteland of changed plans
where everything just fell through
welcome to the racetracks of broken backs
of men who just weren't strong enough

so lay your head upon this pillow
I'll be here if you want to sleep
I know you're tired of being alone
you'll be safe with Me

welcome to the graveyard where the hollow people are
who's bodies smell of the earth
i can see the toothless grins of the skeletons
that haunt you in the dark

so lay your head on this pillow
I'll be here if you want to sleep
I know you're tired of being alone
you'll be safe with Me

i was talking to me friend the other day
we were thinking about running away
all this emptiness erased
we're still running today
we're still running the race

welcome to the graceland of clean hands
where God has set us free
from all those empty, useless, vile things
that once was attached to me
i can see the cold, hard chains nailed to a tree
You set me free
i can feel the warmth of His blood
as i run through the stream

(i wasn't perfectly sure what he sings in the last line!
the cd doesn't come with printed lyrics,
and he didn't post them on the internet,
so i had to listen and hope these words are the right ones!!)

the free gift: grace.

this past weekend, I read the whole book of Romans at one time. I think doing that is so much more powerful, and makes everything so much easier to undestand in its context if you read a book that way.

one of the things that really stuck out at me was the fact that whether I am a Jew or a Gentile, my faith is not anything to be proud of. the only reason I believe is because of the FREE GIFT that God has given to me, FAITH by GRACE.

and since that is true, and God is not a God of partiality, in anything, we must never look down on others for what they do, or what they believe. we are no better than them. if God is not a God of partiality, there are no "white" sins or "black" sins. it is all the same, all just as horrible and ugly.

we are all sinners. and the only reason for our faith is free grace.

for when we were still without strength,

in due time Christ died for the ungodly.

for scarcely for a righteous man will one die;

yet perhaps for a good man

someone would even dare to die.

but God demonstrates His own love toward us,

in that while we were still sinners,

Christ died for us.

much more then, having now been justified by His blood,

we shall be saved from wrath through Him.

for if when we were enemies we were reconciled

to God through the death of His Son,

much more,

having been reconciled,

we shall be saved by His life.

and not only that,

but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ,

through whom we have now received the reconciliation.

~Romans 5:6-11

more wedding pics.

it's kind of oldish news now, but i found another blog with pictures from Steve and Amy's wedding. there's are really nice one of Maria (Amy's sister) and i on there:) (for those of you who i promised to show pictures since I didn't get any. check it out. again, it's one of Steve's sisters blogs. you'll have to scroll down a bit, but you'll find them!!

http://www.myportionforever.blogspot.com/

fridays.

i think friday is my second favorite day (sunday is the best). because friday is the last study day before the weekend. firday means a whole day at home with no where to go all day. and it means baking:) which i like doing.

the weekend means i get to forget about the stress of studying for two whole days (except for practicing). and it usually involves family time, friends time, time with God and His family. spiritual encouragment. youth group. time when i get to be bored. which i admit, i don't like very much. but it's good all the same. because during the week, that time never finds me. it involves work at the ballet studio (which is the worst part about the weekends).

the weekend means God and church and singing and worship and the family of God.

Give unto the Lord the glory due His name;

Worship the Lord in the beauty (splendor) of holiness.

Psalm 29:2

i like the weekend.

home alone.

it's weird being home alone. what do you do when you're home alone?

i play music and sing really loud. or turn up my favorite cd. just to break the silence. (and cause then i know no one is watching and listening to my cracking voice:)






maybe i should re-think that. and use the silence for God time and prayer. with no distractions.

gotta go.

it's good to take a walk and notice the beauty around you when you're busy and troubled.

hmm.

my brother just came downstairs with a big peace of chocolate cake and icecream for me. now all that's missing is coffee.

sometimes life just seems too complicated. and other times it just seems too wonderful.

right now it's complicated.



i'm thinking i wouldn't survive this without God. and i'm really thankful for prayer and the Bible right now.

sorry.

"Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteaous man avails much." 1 Peter 5:16

busy.

when life is too busy, i've discovered that as long as you don't forget about God, you'll make it.

and that reading people's blogs and talking with people about stuff is really encouraging. like filling up with gas. or eating when you're hungry.

God is amazing. and i wish i had a better way to describe what i mean, but He's that awesome. there aren't any words to describe Him and His goodness and love.

servants.

This is something that has been on my mind...without fail, continually...all week. And something I need some answers for.

Brother, let me be your servant
Let me be as Christ to you
Pray that I may have the grace
To let you be my servant, too

We are pilgrims on a journey
We are brothers on the road
We are here to help each other
Walk the mile and bear the load

I will hold the Christlight for you
In the night-time of your fear
I will hold my hand out to you
Speak the peace you long to hear

I will weep when you are weeping
When you laugh I'll laugh with you
I will share your joy and sorrow
Till we've seen this journey through

When we sing to God in heaven
We shall find such harmony
Born of all we've known together
Of Christ's love and agony

Brother, let me be your servant
Let me be as Christ to you
Pray that I may have the grace
To let you be my servant, too

revelation. of revelation.

Yesterday when I was in the waiting room at my harmony teachers house, listening to her play the piano, I was reading Revelation 1. This is what I read. Read it carefully. "See" the majesty and awesomeness of our King, Jesus Christ!

REVELATION CHAPTER ONE

Introduction and Benediction
1 The Revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave Him to show His servants - things which must shortly take place. And He sent and signified it by His angel to His servant John,
2 who bore witness to the word of God, and to the testimony of Jesus Christ, to all things that he saw.
3 Blessed is he who reads and those who hear the words of this prophecy, and keep those things which are written in it; for the times is near.

Greeting the Seven Churches
4 John, to the seven churches which are in Asia:
Grace to you and peace from Him who is and who was and who is to come, and from the seven Spirits who are before His throne,
5 and from Jesus Christ, the faithful witness, the firstborn from the dead, and the ruler over the kings of the earth. To Him who loved us and washed us from our sins in His own blood.
6 and has made us kings and priets to His God and Father, to Him be glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.
7 Behold, He is coming with clouds, and every eye will see Him, even they who pierced Him. And all the tribes of the earth will mourn because of Him. Even so, Amen.
8 "I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End," says the Lord, "who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty."

Vision of the Son of Man
9 I, John, both your brother and companion in the tribulation and kingdom and patience of Jesus Christ, was on the island that is called Patmos for the word of God and for the testimony of Jesus Christ.
10 I was in the Spirit on the Lord's Day, and I heard behind me a loud voice, as of a trumpet,
11 saying, "I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last," and, "What you see, write in a book and send it to the seven churches which are in Asia: to Ephesus, to Smyrna, to Pergamos, to Thyatira, to Sardis, to Philadelphia, and to Laodicea."
12 Then I turned to see the voice that spoke with me. And having turned I saw seven golden lampstands,
13 and in the midst of the seven lampstands One like the Son of Man, clothed with a garment down to the feet and girded about the chest with a golden band.
14 His head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and His eyes like a flame of fire;
15 His feet were like fine brass, as if refined in a furnace, and His voice as the sound of many waters;
16 He had in His right hand seven stars, out of His mouth went a sharp two-edged sword, and His countenance was like the sun shining in its strength.
17 And when I saw Him, I feel at His feet as dead. But He laid His right hand on me, saying to me, "Do not be afraid; I am the First and the Last.
18 "I am He who lives, and was dead, and behold, I am alive forevermore. Amen. And I have the keys of Hades and Death.
19 "Write the things which you have seen, and the things which are, and the things which will take place after this.
20 "The mystery of the seven stars which you saw in My right hand, and the seven golden lampstands: The seven stars are the angels of the seven churches, and the seven golden lampstands which you saw are the seven churches."

I don't think I'll ever be able to hear the greeting of verses 4b-6 in church again without praising God for those words, and for what they mean.

And then today, my 8 year old brother was practicing his memory work for Sunday School. It was this verse:

" Give unto the Lord the glory due to His name;
Worship the Lord in the beauty (splendor) of holiness."
Psalm 29:2

Yeah, pretty amazing. And just...

Hmm...think about it. The holiness and compassion and love and majesty and splendor of our eternal, glorious God and Father.

to be there.

what are friends for?

to be there.

to be there for each other. that's what i need most in a friend. what i cherish most in a friend. what i love most about the ones i have.

and the only thing i can do is thank the One who gave them to me. even when i don't deserve them. they're there anyway.

for something completely different from my last post.

As a piano teacher, I recommend you watch this hilarious video from youtube.com

Seriously...it's soooo good. Watch some of the other videos from igudesman and joo. They're very talented, but also very humorous. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOQaK7NHY-4

hold on.

It's snowing? Okay, I'm not quite ready for that yet. Wait a few more weeks.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I read this last night.

PSALM 77

To the Chief Musician.

To Jeduthun.

A Psalm of Asaph.

I cried out to God with my voice -

To God with my voice;

And He gave ear to me.

In the day of my trouble I sought the Lord;

My hand was stretched out in the night without ceasing;

My soul refused to be comforted. I remembered God,

And was troubled;

I complained, and my spirit was overwhelmed.

SELAH.

You hold my eyelids open;

I am so troubled that I cannot speak.

I have considered the days of old,

The years of ancient times.

I call to remembrance my song in the night;

I meditate within my heart,

And my spirit makes diligent search.

Will the Lord cast off forever?

And will He be favorable no more?

Has His mercy ceased forever?

Has His promise failed forevermore?

Has God forgotten to be gracious?

Has He in anger shut up His tender mercies?

SELAH.

And I said, "this is my anguish;

But I will remember the years of

the right hand of the Most High."

I will remember the works of the Lord;

Surely I will remember Your wonders of old.

I will also meditate on all Your work.

And talk of Your deeds.

Your way, O God, is in the sanctuary;

Who is so great a God as our God?

You are the God who does wonders;

You have declared Your strength among the peoples.

You have with Your arm redeemed Your people,

The sons of Jacob and Joseph.

SELAH.

The waters saw You, O God;

The waters saw You, they were afraid;

The depths also trembled.

The clouds poured out water;

The skies sent out a sound;

Your arrows also flashed about.

The voice of Your thunder was in the whirlwind;

The lightnings lit up the world;

The earth trembled and shook.

Your way was in the sea,

Your path in the great waters,

And Your footsteps were not known.

You led Your people like a flock

By the hand of Moses and Aaron.

just cause i feel like talking.

I can't believe it's already November. Time flies when you're having fun. Fun? Okay, when you're busy with....tons of stuff.

I hate distractions. They are really bad. And I'm easily distracted. "Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established." Prov. 16:3 That's taking it literally, and probably twisting it a bit, but yeah. I need a verse for this. Any suggestions?

The guy that I rented a keyboard from at Long and McQuade in Cambridge this morning is pretty cool. He asked me how much I know about piano. So I told him I was working on my ARCT and he said he did that too. And then he asked me if I study anything besides classical stuff for the RCM...and of course, I said no. So he showed me a bit of cool jazz stuff. And how to do it. It looked pretty easy and sweet, but I'll have to practice it a bit. Pretty sweet stuff.

I love music. It's pretty much the best thing in the world...aside from God, and people. I hope I never stop learning cool things about it cause learning new things about music gets me super excited about it. And I like being excited about music. And good thing too, cause it's pretty much going to be a part of my life for...well, the rest of my life:) Sweetness!

Okay, so I think I'm really happy today. I like being happy. Sigh. :)